The Room (2003)
Directed by: Tommy Wiseau
Starring: Tommy Wiseau, Juliette Danielle, Greg Sestero, Philip Haldiman, Carolyn Minnott, Robyn Paris, Mike Holmes, Dan Janjigian, Kyle Vogt, Greg Ellery
“You know what you need? You need a drink.” – Lisa
Lisa is talking to Johnny, but he’s not the only one who needs a drink. You’ll need one too if you want to survive The Room, the brainchild of one Tommy Wiseau, a guy who, according to IMDB, trained to be an actor at the American Conservatory Theater, Vince Chase Workshop, Jean Shelton Acting Lab, Laney College, and the Stella Adler Academy of Acting. None of these organizations – not one – did him any bit of good. You may have heard about The Room – it’s infamous in the same manner as Birdemic: Shock and Terror, except that it’s horrible in a completely different way. Strange as it may seem, in some ways it’s worse than Birdemic because it’s more boring, and instead of bad CGI birds we get bad CGI people. But before we continue our dissection of The Room, I must warn you about Tommy Wiseau. He is incomprehensible and incorrigible. At least with Birdemic, I kinda understood where James Nguyen was coming from – the guy is an environmentalist type who wants to save the world from global warming. But Wiseau – I have no idea where Wiseau is coming from, and if you told me you understood him, I wouldn’t believe you for a second. With The Room, Wiseau doesn’t seem to have a purpose, other than to torment the audience. He doesn’t seem to have a grasp on drama, decent dialogue, believable characters, plot logic, human interaction, or reality. He is truly… an enigma.